Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize