i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
