So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
