To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
