shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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