thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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