you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
