This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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