do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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