You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize