he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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