hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
