she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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