I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
