What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
