I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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