His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
