Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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