Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
