What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
