He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
