Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
