i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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