Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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