Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
