All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
