the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
