Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
