Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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