my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
