I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
