We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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