I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
