Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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