Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
