Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She's the barista slut.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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