She is in my trunk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
