Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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