I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
