my mouth tastes like poor choices
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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