Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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