she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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