You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
