he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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