i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
