Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
