How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
