i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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