i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
