The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sorry about my life...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize