i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
