Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
