Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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