i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize