Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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