You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
