Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
