Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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