how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize