Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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