break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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