Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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