singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
