You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
