We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A bitchslap is in order.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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