Kiss
Puke
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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