bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
