all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
