I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
