There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
