ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
