I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
