just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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