well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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