My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
