well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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