We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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