it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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