Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
