Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He did a backflip because drugs
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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