talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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