I'm really into asian looking animals
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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