Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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